Alright. There is no excuse. I can only say, my intentions are generally good. And then things happen. They usually happen quickly, and the quicker they happen, the slower I am to wholeheartedly respond.
What have I been doing for the last few years? Excellent question. First, there was a tarot reading workshop… or two. And then, a comedy bootcamp, culminating in a live performance with an equally live audience back when you could do that in good conscience — cram 250 people into a small, dark, cool space, and encourage them to laugh out loud repeatedly, in especially close quarters. It was very much the “thing that scared me.” And I did it anyway, meeting a handful of people who enjoyed being brave and laughing together. While my motive, in part, was to mark the end of a relationship and the beginning of… as cliche as it sounds, expansion rather than contraction, the whole experience was fun — and transformative.
After bootcamp and some venturing out with classmates to stand up in local open mics, I enrolled in another class, this time voice-over acting. I hoped it would help me to relax with a microphone inches from my face; to feel more physically present onstage because, trust me, three feet higher and amplified can feel pretty wild. Like the comedy workshop, this class was challenging and surprising, too. People of all ages and backgrounds stretching out, testing themselves. I was out of my comfort zone and into that growth space where life is less predictable, emotions heighten, yet most importantly, fear gets some pushback.
And then, well, everything escalated.